A Liberal Translation of Whittington’s Speech

18 02 2006

Harry Whittington, the man shot by Vice President Dick Cheney last weekend, spoke to reporters as he was released from Christus Spohn Memorial Hospital in Corpus Christi, Texas. He did not take questions. Below is a transcript of his statement to the liberal media along with my translation of what he was really saying to the liberal MSM.

Good Afternoon.

Hmmph. Hello, losers.

All of you in the media have been very patient in waiting for me to make my appearance here. I hope you understand. I’m sorry I delayed you, but I know your role is to get the news out to the public. I compliment you on what you’ve done. I’ve read and seen many of your reports and I know your job isn’t easy. I regret that I couldn’t have been here earlier so you could see what a lucky person I am.

I know you will never understand. You are the most pathetic group of journalists I have ever seen. I tip my hat to you on the ability to take a mole hill and create a mountain out of it. This cannot be easy and only a group as idiotic as you could accomplish it.

We all assume certain risks in whatever we do, whatever activities we pursue. And regardless of how experienced, careful and dedicated we are, accidents do and will happen – and that’s what happened last Friday.

Did you hear what I said…a.c.c.i.d.e.n.t!!! Not all of us sit around all day and have our jobs handed to us. Some of us are movers and shakers and we are the heartbeat of this country. You are but a thorn in our sides. We will succeed inspite of you.

I am very grateful and want to thank all the people that remembered me in their
prayers and the kindness you have extend to my family that’s been here this week.

This is not for you because I know that you were praying for me to die so you could nail my friend for first degree murder and impeach him as well as the President for poor response time by not being there to fill you in live.

My family and I are deeply sorry for all that vice president Cheney has had to go through this past week. We send our love and respect to them as they deal with situations that are much more serious than what we’ve had this week. And we hope that he will continue to come to Texas and seek the relaxation that he deserves.

Dick Cheney is my friend. Now back off him already. When I have to apologize to him for what you have done to him, you know are dealing with fools.

I also thank all of you for understanding the best you can that medical attention was very important to someone my age. And you haven’t failed to give my age.

As usual, you bunch of vultures attack the negative aspects of this accident and have me appear to be a victim and my friend, a murderer. How pathetic.

I am very glad Mr. Whittington made this speech to the media. It shows what a class act he is as well as Cheney. The media was speechless then outraged when he actually apologized to the Cheney family for what he had to go through. This is typical for Christians…totally foreign to liberals.

What? You don’t blame him? You must blame somebody! You can’t just take responsibility when you are the victim!

I thank God I will not have to go through life with the disease, Victimitis, which has infected liberals today. I learned a long time ago, as Mr. Whittington certainly has, that “it is not what happens to you that matters…it is how you handle it that matters most.”

Linked to: Stop The ACLU, Don Surber, Argghhh!

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